Managing Isn’t Changing

It’s very common these days to hear people speak in terms of “managing” their mental health. We are invited to “cope” with difficult and painful feelings like loss, emptiness, depression by distracting ourselves from them. There are many forms that this distraction might take; meditation, yoga, long walks in the countryside, pilates, going for a run, swimming.

All are aimed at making us feel better and moving us away from emotional pain. So, I hear you ask,  what’s wrong with that?

Well of course no-one wants to dispute that there are activities and pastimes that make people feel better and give them some relief from whatever is troubling them. But none of this “self care” can really produce fundamental psychological change. The problem is that in continuing to “cope” we do not really address the underlying issues that are causing painful feelings in the first place. In psychodynamic counselling we aim not at distraction from feelings but in lasting psychological change.

People find it hard to believe that such change is possible and it’s true that it is not an easy option because it requires time and commitment. But lasting change is possible.